Dear Mrs Z

An excerpt from a letter to my dear friend Rebekah, on our city’s youth violence:

” …Did you hear about the HUGE party/fight among high school students at the beach on Friday night?  (I hear it was on the news).  Apparently they stole a keg from a wedding reception, and a dozen or so fights broke out, prompting scores of police and even helicopters.  At the heart of the matter, these kids are pyschologically stunted and have no sense of empathy – no sense of other… no sense of consquences.  The violence extends far beyond gangs as well.  Fighting is “cool.”  They wear their black eyes like badges of honor. (Once again, I return to Erikson’s stages of development).

What we need, quite simply, are more adults who can serve as caring mentors and positive role models.  The kids just need face time with kind, understanding, patient people who can simply say “I care about you – and I believe in you.”  I feel like we might be able to brainstorm until we are blue in the face, and the answer all along has been simple – these kids just need love.  How can we provide for that when our social services are so stretched (TD and his mom are about to be kicked out of their shelter, with nowhere to go), and our schools do not have the resources necessary to provide kids with the 1:1 time and care that they deserve?”

I practice something in my classroom that I think of as “relational pedagogy.”  I develop rapport with my students.  I establish trust.  The only “rule” I enforce is: Respect.  And I enforce it warmly and positively.  When the bell rings and a student bursts through the door, a minute late, the LAST thing I want to do is issue a Lunch Detention for their 60-second shortcoming.  Rather, I welcome them to class.  I chose my battles.  The result?  Students show up.  At-risk students who regularly skip school show up.  And they show up in droves.  In fact, when they get kicked out of their other classes for being late or checking the time on their phones, they come “home” to my room.   They stay late into the evening, as I work… as late as 8pm… simply because it is a safe, positive place for them to be.  And they tell me, “If it weren’t for you, I would have already dropped out.”

The results of my “relational pedagogy” are easy to measure: One student isn’t registered in any of my classes.  He was on the brink of dropping out and was failing all of his classes.  Now he is passing all of his classes – he is the first person in 3 generations to be on pace to earn a single high school credit (let alone 6!)  One student, who is failing all of his other classes, has a legitimate, hard-earned 98% in my class.  He is an extremely intelligent, model student! (He also comes from a gang-affiliated family and was, himself, a crip until recently).

I fully believe that EVERY CHILD will not only NOT be left behind (eh hem)… but EVERY CHILD WILL SUCCEED with one important ingredient: love.

Where’s the love?